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Gears of War Wednesday Wrap: Kanalineophobia, creepy sisters and silence

Written by: Oliver Snyders / August 30 2012 / No Comments

After too long away from the action, tonight’s Gears of War 3 sessions were as raucous as I remember (from waaay back, three weeks ago) and games got rolling very quickly indeed as lobbies filled up, Lancers roared to life and Gnashers began to bark with the intensity of a protective Dog of War.

The only problem for me, however, was that I sat in near silence for roughly two hours as I couldn’t hear anyone speaking. The little speech bubbles of the players in the matches I was in impotently popped up next-to their names, but with no voices to accompany them.

Sure, I could hear explosions, gunfire and the tension-inducing whine of One Shots, as well as the sickening ‘thonk’ of a Torque Bow as its ammunition pierced by virtual flesh, but despite the intensity and raw fun of the Team Deathmatch and King of the Hill matches, the games for me were at least a little dulled without team-mates to speak with. I amused myself by making lame jokes and vocalising my grimaces as jGLZA took me down once again (which my team-mates could hear, I hope) but that was it.

But then, like a vision in the skies (or a hot pizza fresh out of the oven), I finally heard a sound. Breathing. Stifling a laugh, Blackwiddow01 piped up saying “Was I breathing like Darth Vader again?” Yes. Yes you were. But that’s OK. It meant that after two hours I could finally chat to someone while playing.

We soon bundled into Party Chat and were joined by LikeanAngel ZA, BIG Ash CT, ThaidInsane and muj33b, and conversations ranged from creepy (READ: sweet) little sisters, upcoming games, lame jokes, the correct pronunciation of No1 ZA (we voted for ‘No-one ZA’) and the fear of being chainsawed out of no-where.

Not really included in the official list of phobias, the closest description for such a fear that I could find was ‘Kanalineophobia’ (the fear of row blades), which could be combined with the fictional ‘Nihilophobia’ (the fear of nothingness) to form ‘KanalineNihilophobia’ – the fear of chainsaws out of nothingness (Note: I am not an etymology master, please don’t believe me).

After roughly five rounds of “Just one more game, for realz,” we finally called it quits for the night after some truly enjoyable, epic matches in Gears of War 3 – thanks to everyone for playing tonight and making it another great success!

Lisa started the trend a while back, and I think it’s definitely worth doing again, so here are a few Twitter messages from players following the games tonight:

@vegetaza @zeeky99 @frostbiteza @jglza_b00 @farouk_dearham @lowcustza #gearswednesday Aweh! I had a blast

— waahid saint (@bull3tsaint) August 29, 2012

Rule number 1 on #GearsWednesday : don’t go for a smoke break cuz you’re not gonna find a free spot when you come back LOL @el33tonline

— ApeshitshotgunR (@Antonov_26) August 29, 2012

Tonight’s #gearswednesday was awesome with @bull3tsaint @zeeky99 @ @frostbiteza @jglza_b00 @farouk_dearham @lowcustza

— Theolin Naidoo (@VegetaZA) August 29, 2012

Love how “one more” always becomes an hour more lol @jglza_b00 @lowcustza @el33tonline @bull3tsaint @frostbiteza @antonov_26 #GearsofWar

— Bridget Warne (@bridgy_boo) August 30, 2012

@bridgy_boo @jglza_b00 @lowcustza @el33tonline @frostbiteza @antonov_26 #GearsofWar was worth it tho one more! Ooooooooone more! Lol

— waahid saint (@bull3tsaint) August 30, 2012

@bull3tsaint @bridgy_boo @jglza_b00 @lowcustza @el33tonline @frostbiteza @antonov_26 lol one more has had ppl trapped for years now

— Low (@LowcustZA) August 30, 2012

@lowcustza @bull3tsaint @bridgy_boo @jglza_b00 @el33tonline @frostbiteza @antonov_26 I’m an example of one more and tea-less nights

— Ziyaad Karoodien (@Zeeky99) August 30, 2012