The Internets

Thursday 18 Oct 2007

The Internets are not working. I feel like screaming out, “Someone get on it and fix it right away!” I need to work but feel like I am spinning out of control without access to email, google talk and the admin section to my website…the list goes on.

What does one do when the Internets do not play by the rules? I mean it needs to work for at least eight hours of a working day, my South African working day that is….Greenwich Meridian plus two for those of you who are trapped in the twilight era. And contrary to most South African’s popular belief, Telkom is not always to blame. In fact, from my personal experience, it is more often than not simply the Internets themselves which are to blame.

A series of tubes

Now everyone who is worth their salt in this world knows that the Internets are a series of tubes and, perhaps more importantly, that they are clogged. This often leads to the IE or Firefox icon spinning endlessly in circles until I feel like I am going to go dilly in the head. It can also lead to a 504 Gateway Timeout error. This one is my personal favourites because it simply reads “The following error occurred: [code=GATEWAY_TIMEOUT] A gateway timeout occurred. The server is unreachable. Retry the request.” Now here is the real gem: “Please contact the administrator.” Would someone please bring me up to speed on who the administrator is?

Is this the administrator of the Internets and if so why is his or her email address not in my email contact directory? More importantly why has he or she not responded to my somewhat agitated requests to press the refresh button on the Internets. I mean how hard can it be? Just hit F5, even Shift F5 should do the trick, and reset the Internets once and for all, clean out its tubes good and solid.

We apologise for the inconvenience

If any one out there has the administrator details for the Internets please forward them to me. In the interim please forgive us for EL33TONLINE being unavailable for a brief period yesterday. I did log a ticket with the Internets right away and hoped to be back online again as soon as possible. We apologise for the inconvenience.

Douglas Adams hit the nail on the head when he gave the answer as being 42 in his book ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy.’ The problem was finding out what the question was. Incidentally to those amongst us who are literarily challenged, the question was what is the answer to life, the universe and everything. Similarly if the answer was frustration, the question would have to be working on the Internets. They will bring you as much gnashing of teeth as they will joy, however, since this particular series of tubes holds so much valuable information, I will just have to hang in there until the Internets are updated to version 1.better.

And just like that, it is back on. Sigh, back to work for me I guess. Round two: The Internets one, Lisa zero…fight!